I am an ethnic Hungarian (a Slovak and Canadian citizen) now living in Australia.
I was born in the former Czechoslovakia (now Slovakia). From there, I moved with my family to Canada when I was 15. From there, I moved to Hungary (by myself) when I was 20. From there, I moved here -- to Australia -- when I was 31.

When I was 14 years old, I read Michelangelo's biography (The Agony and the Ecstasy) and I fell deeply and madly in love with him: so much so that he inspired me to start drawing "for real". I mean, I'd always loved drawing and I did lots and lots of drawing as a child (as children do), but it was only after reading this book that I decided to try my hand at "real" drawing. So I took a crappy pencil and some crappy paper I found at home and I set out to draw Adam from Michelangelo's "The Creation of Adam". I was pretty happy with the result. And from then on, there was no stopping me. I fell deeply and madly in love with drawing. Nothing else compared to it. It was the equivalent of perfect happiness and bliss. Until...

Until I graduated from high school and moved to Hungary. There, I applied to the Hungarian University of Fine Arts but was rejected. I applied again in a different year and was rejected again. These were major setbacks of course... But I still did my best to keep my passion well and alive while studying Hungarian and English language and literature at ELTE University (often skipping an entire day of lectures and seminars just to be able to draw and paint at home).

And then came the year 2007....... I started experiencing awful, intractable, debilitating low back pain. And now, almost 7 years later (after having visited hundreds of doctors and healers, trying hundreds of treatments and therapies, taking countless painkillers and spending thousands and thousands of dollars) the pain is still here and is still debilitating. It has made me lose touch with my passion almost completely (which, in turn -- and understandably so -- made me very depressed). Before 2007, before all this pain started, I spent nearly all my free time drawing. Now, since I am in pain most of the time, I am hardly ever able to sit down and draw.

But still... Here I am. I could go on and on (and on) about how much art means to me, how important it is to me, and how my whole life would be meaningless without it. But to keep it short: I just don't want to throw up my arms and give up. I've suffered too much, and I spent way too many years NOT doing what I love the most in this world... Now I think it's time to fight back. I'd like to find my way back to my life's passion. I'd like to seize every pain-free minute I get and use it to create drawings.

 

I'm hoping I will have the strength to keep going.



Emese "Mesh" Cuth