| 05 July, 2013 09:59
(I needed someone to ask me some really important questions and there was no one else around to interview me.)
(Source: my Facebook page)
Q: Let’s just skip the small talk. Why haven’t you drawn a single thing in exactly 8 months?
A: Because my back hurts like a b*tch. It’s been hurting for 6.5 years now but it’s gotten worse lately. Drawing, for me, requires sitting down for long periods of time and in my present state I cannot sit down for long periods of time because it hurts way too much. I’ve tried drawing standing up but it doesn’t work. I can’t do it lying down either.
Q: Are you unhappy?
A: What the hell do you think? Extremely.
Q: So. What are you going to do about it?
A: Not entirely sure yet. Perhaps change my drawing technique. Maybe switch to a technique that can be done lying down… or in a very short time. (I can take sitting down for short periods of time.) This would of course mean switching to an entirely different drawing technique and abandoning my old technique altogether. Or perhaps I will write a book.
A: …Because I don’t want to be a whiny little pest who spent more than 6 years of her life bitching and feeling sorry for herself. I’d much rather be someone who at least aspired to do something /at least mildly/ meaningful, even when all odds were against her. I’d love to find some kind of a silver lining in all this g**damn pain and suffering. And writing is a lot easier to do than drawing when you’re in this much pain. You can do it in any old position. You just need a laptop.
Q: What would the book be about?
A: Please stop asking me about the book. For the time being it’s top secret, so please treat it accordingly.
Q: OK. Um, let’s see. Do you enjoy interviewing yourself, and if so, why?
A: Yes I do. I think it’s because there are so many things inside me that I’d love to share. And I haven’t had anywhere near enough questions being asked of me throughout my life. I adore questions and questionnaires. Always have. I get wildly excited when I’m asked questions. Not lame ones though, of course.
Q: Well, you got me all self-conscious now. Worried that my next question is going to be a lame one.
A: Relax. Go on.
Q: OK. What’s the situation with your back right now?
A: I had some more imaging tests done in the past few weeks and now it looks like I finally have a real DIAGNOSIS(!!!) for my awful chronic pain. It is “right sacroiliac joint incompetence.” Along with “mild to moderate” arthritis, moderate facet joint disease, adductor and hamstring enthesopathy and hip impingement. Pretty complex, huh? Yeah. I’m going back to my doctor on July 4th to discuss treatment options. Fingers crossed.
Q: Do you have a message for all your, erm, “fans”?
A: Yes. It is this: I am VERY sorry I haven’t drawn a single g*ddamn thing in 8 months. I am very sorry this page has been completely dead for the longest time. I’m sorry. And as if all this chronic-PAIN-relentless-physical-agony crap weren’t enough, I have other personal crap to work through as well. Like, the fact that I have extremely low self-esteem as an “artist”. Not even sure if I can call myself that. Because I never went to art school and I have no relevant qualifications. So there. That’s my little confession.
Q: Well, thank you very much for your time, Mesh!
A: Anytime. You know I’m right here. And now here’s one of my all-time favourite songs to make us all feel better (especially me): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELdkzsN_oco
“I AM WHAT I DO
I AM WHAT I'VE DONE